I Am Not Your Comfort Woman

As cold metal scrapes its way through bubbling saliva and wraps around my tongue
I think to myself I will do this because I love him

Thick fingers curl themselves and firmly swathe leather straps
They tell me
                              move to the left
                              move to the right
                              (but mostly)
                              don’t move at all

I ask to please let go
Instead the deep voice once perceived as frail and humble
tears a hole inside of me
It reminds me of the time a Japanese soldier forced himself
inside a thirteen-year-old Korean girl

There were days I’d lay myself down and articulately organize
anything to make you happy
One day I woke up with a blistering wound underneath my skirt 
                                                                                                                  It hurt 

I was able to hold back tears when men came to me one by one, one after the other
I was able to stand firm when the sisterhood was broken by men’s slaughter
I was able to dout worry by smiling lies at my brother

While you stood there
watching them force their way inside                     
                                                        I did nothing
I was left there
frozen fragile broken
                                                        you did nothing

All of a sudden it came over me
as though I had been months alone in a drought eating the dryness of dusty heat
I let it fall
I let the pain manifest itself into an outpouring

For once
after five long years
I felt peace

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